Does anyone know how to mix a Donkey Punch?

Earlier this week at work, a few coworkers and I were having a discussion about the appropriate gifts for certain anniversaries. Everyone knows the traditional silver (25 years) and gold (50 years), but will you know what to get your spouse after one year of wedded bliss? Why, paper, of course! However, this doesn't give you license to be cheap - I feel that a package of high-quality laser jet or photo paper would be appropriate. Or maybe just leave a note reminding your wife that you like dinner ready at 7 and that your shirts aren't crisp enough after she irons them. I'm sure she will appreciate the thoughtful gesture of a hand-written note and admire you for the helpful way you corrected her housewifery skills.

During this discussion, we learned that there are now more modern alternatives to the traditional annual gifts. For example, did you know that the modern gift of choice for the seventh anniversary is a desk set? Neither did I. Also, why was the leather anniversary pushed back from the third anniversary to the ninth? I thought all the kinky sex occurred early in the relationship, before the seven year itch. And what's the deal with appliances? I though all appliances made bad gifts - I learned this from watching my mother open her presents from my father.

Now, my blog shouldn't be titled "The Funniest Man in the World" if I can't create a chuckle now and then, right? Fast forward to earlier today, when my good friend Ryan, a proud near-alumnus of New Mexico State University, sent me the following humorous picture:





Being the helpful person I am, I proceeded to forward this advice to my coworker who started the anniversary discussion and who, coincidentally, just celebrated his first anniversary. I should also mention that, not so coincidentally, he is Mormon.

This is the response I received from him:

Michael says:
oh, cool
Michael says:
okay, so I thought that donkey punch was just a type of alcoholic drink
Michael says:
it's not
Michael says:
as I have begun to discover
Michael says:
I have to admit that that is really funny, if (highly) inappropriate


I'm sure he can create some sort of non-alcoholic Donkey Punch that can be enjoyed by all Mormons. As for me, I'll stick with the real deal.