A new meaning for "hail to the chief"

Anyone heard the song "Hail to the Chief"? You know, the lame one that plays when the President enters the room? Hail to the Chief was first played for a presidential entrance in 1812 or 1845, well before the modern era. The current president has an iPod: I think it is time for an update. The song is boring, and worse, it apparently descends from a Scottish folk song. That's right, an American didn't even write the song that announces the entrance of the American president. I think this is cause for a moral outrage (since everything else is these days).

In fact, I propose a new song for such entrances: the Indiana Jones theme. Da-ta-da-da, ta ta, Da-ta-duh-da, DAH DAH DAH. Who wouldn't want to hear this song more? I think there are at least three immediate benefits. First, the song is much cooler and uplifting, and it might make people a little more excited to hear the president speak. Second, in the wake of image problems related to recent presidents (no shots at either administration), it could restore the heroic image that the office of the president used to hold. Third, an updated song from a cool movie might make kids more interested in politics. I don't see anything wrong with any of these outcomes.

The song was also composed by an American, the great John Williams. He also wrote the music for Star Wars, which provides an interesting contrast. For example, if the president is meeting with some dignitaries from Iran or North Korea (or even if an incumbent president is debating a challenger), he could enter to the Indiana Jones theme while Star Wars' Imperial March is played for the other person. Who would be against this? In fact, I think we take this idea even further and have the translator speak through a Darth Vader voice box (or just have James Earl Jones voice over entire speeches).

I voiced this opinion to a friend today, and he thought the current president might take this idea too far and start appearing in public with a bull whip. Again, who would have a problem with this? He could smack the toupee off Kim Jong-il. I also heard that Bush would like to run for another term; I can't decide if this is because he just ignores the rules anyway or because he can't count to three. Either way, it is an interesting debate with enormous political ramifications.