You need to bring more heat!

I've been bored lately. Before this week (when classes finally started up again), I've been going stir crazy. Since returning from Arizona over the holidays, I haven't done much. Christy works, I sleep in, watch TV, go for a walk, and cook a gourmet dinner. I've been so bored, I have even watched the exact same SportsCenter twice in a row, in addition to countless hours of CNBC (to prepare for interviews). I've watched Back to the Future 2, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Dirty Rotten Scoundrels, and Awesome, I Fuckin' Shot That!, among other movies. But now I've got a new favorite, something I watch multiple times per week, just to read into all the different levels.

Yes, I've become addicted to The (White) Rapper Show. It's brilliant, it really is. I think Sullee or 100 Proof will pull it out, but there might be some competition from Jus Rhyme and John Brown, AKA the King of the Burbs. Persia, she'll be the next one out, leaving a bunch of dudes (all she can do is battle rap; she needs to learn there's much more to it than that). And even though she couldn't rap, I miss Misfit. The characters on this show are great. There's a girl named G-Child who is probably all of four and a half feet tall. She's from Detroit, and her idol is Vanilla Ice. That went over well with the producers.

Speaking of the producers, the two main personalities on this show are MC Serch and Prince Paul. Serch calls himself "the legendary MC Serch." I haven't followed his career lately, but I'm not sure if slinging a few singles back with 3rd Base qualifies as "legendary." But Price Paul, there's a legend. I'm a big Handsome Boy Modeling School fan.

I wish I could find the "You need to bring more heat" barbershop post, but here's a quick clip.

Things I did last night, in order

1. Watched the second half of National Lampoon's Vacation.

2. Watched the first half of National Lampoon's Vacation.

From the Mixed-Up Files of Mr. Diabolical H. Crazy

Music thoughts while drinking one night in September (possibly on my anniversary): Radiohead's "Creep" (quiet/loud/quiet/loud) marked the end of the Nirvana/Pearl Jam grunge years. It's a perfect example of a band imitating the current sound (because don't all bands start as cover bands?) before moving the musical genre forward.

U2 is becoming this generation's Rolling Stones, and our children may in fact see them open for the Stones in 25 years.

Some thoughts on Buddhism: It's interesting that man is born impure, as opposed to the lack of original sin found in Catholicism. Buddhism seems like a journey to improve oneself. Be careful with these thoughts, because this comes from a person whose exposure to Buddhism include 1) living across the street from Richard Gere's private Buddhist library, and 2) stealing the Book of Buddha from a hotel in Los Angeles.

Thoughts on "The Departed": It should win a few Oscars. Don't make Jack angry.

Thoughts on the Golden Globes: Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the Globe for best actor goes to Eddie Murphy. Give it up for Eddie Murphy, starring next month in Norbit! He's got a great body of work, including Boomerang and Bowfinger. Ladies and gentlemen, your 2007 Golden Globe Best Actor, Eddie Murphy!

Thoughts on New York: New York is different things to different people, but one thing is for sure: everyone has his or her own private love affair with this city.

However, the city puts you face to face with poverty and class differences on a daily basis. One block to the west stand striking glass towers that house (according to rumor) Calvin Klein and Gisele, among others. Three doorstoops to the east lies a homeless man who my wife and I refer to as "our bum." He sets up his bed shortly after dusk and leaves sometime before we leave the house. We worry when he's not there.

Thoughts on the Arcade Fire: Okay, they are a good band. And popular, too. But really, five shows in New York that sell out in under 10 minutes? What does one have to do to get tickets? (No, I didn't get tickets. Yes, I had multiple browsers/tabs and was working the phone.)

Thoughts on my birthday: It's coming up.

TFMITW Lists

Possible jobs held by the woman who lives on the fourth floor of the building across the street (according to my wife):

1. Doctor

2. Escort

3. Actress

4. Stewardess

Nitpick of the Week

What's the deal with alterations? I took some pants in today to get hemmed, and the lady asks when I need them by. So I say this week, and she says, "no, Monday." Why even ask me when I need the pants, when you are just going to tell me what fits your schedule. Plus, I just picked up a suit I dropped off before Christmas to get cleaned and have a button sewn on. Guess what? Still a spot on the suit and the button is still loose.

This Just In!

According to Mark, TFMITW's Tucson correspondent, New York City sidewalks are responsible for 33,000 deaths per year--sidewalks are the true "silent killer."*

I would like to inform Mark about a commercial I saw yesterday while waiting for a burrito: there are law firms, in this city, that specialize in sidewalk-related injuries. For 30 seconds, while the law firm's number scrolled along the bottom of the screen, I saw nothing but people falling into sidewalk grates and basement doors, or tripping on uneven sidewalks, potholes or curbs. It's too bad I didn't get the law firm's name, because I just stubbed my toe on Waverly and could use $15 for lunch.


*This is a fabricated statistic from our fabricated tour of New York in July. Other wonderful "nuggets" of wisdom passed along as facts include the fact that because of geographical separation, the squirrels in Central Park are a different species than the squirrels in Washington Square, and that the GAP store at South Street Seaport is the oldest GAP store in the nation, dating back to 1806 (and it was this GAP store that outfitted soldiers for the War of 1812).