America is Lazy

Yes, I said it. Shocking. Now that we are the fattest nation on the planet, we might as well relish it.

That's why I love this new product from Black & Decker: electric scissors. What, we can't open and close our hands anymore?

I love how one online review makes this sound like the most groundbreaking product since sliced bread (which, incidentally is not sliced with scissors. At least Black & Decker already has an electric knife for this difficult task.). Here's a snippet from the review:

When it comes to cutting thin material like paper, cloth, carpet or tile, scissors are great; they are much easier to control than razor knives and far safer. The only problem is that they can be very hard on the hands if you have to cut more than a little bit. If only there was a way to get the accuracy and control of scissors without the Carpal Tunnel Syndrome that comes with them. This is exactly why the sultans of slice at Black and Decker came out with their 3.6 Volt Cordless Power Scissors, the ultimate in portable cutting technology.

Yes, the ultimate portable cutting technology. What is even funnier to me is the current advertising campaign. You see, last night on NBC, I saw an ad suggesting one purchase these electric scissors as a Christmas present. How did the commercial demonstrate this portable cutting technology? By cutting wrapping paper! This seems like a chicken-and-egg problem: wouldn't the scissors be MORE helpful before you wrapped your presents, rather than on Christmas day?

Also, who cuts tile with scissors?