How stupid is America?

Pretty stupid. At least that's what a current batch of commercials would have me believe. For example, one new car commercial shows its new model morphing into a stylized cartoon car that speeds around town, even driving upside down in a tunnel. Small print at the bottom of the ad tells the viewer that the ad is a "fictionalization." Really? I thought we had invented the upside-down driving technology.

The new Beck's beer commercial shows us a variety of statistics, including that the average human being spends (these are from my memory and not likely to be correct) 1.73% of their life checking themselves out, and 0.14% watching things drip. Again, the viewer is told "all statistics made up."

Really, the least common denominator keeps getting lower.

Other things that are bothering me right now:

-The workers across the street from me. Right across the street, there's a balcony, with another 10 stories above it. Anyway, on the balcony right now is a bunch of scaffolding that goes up another 10 stories. I guess the penthouse is remodeling. While it is probably worse for the people who own that balcony, I don't like having people looking in my apartment all day, nor the fact that they begin work about 30 minutes before my alarm goes off. My apartment also smells like turpentine during the day.

-Catalogs. Whether it's the new address or the increase in Internet shopping, we are getting tons of catalogs. They all suck.

-An annoying girl in my marketing class. She's a Southern Belle. She's also clueless and likes to share her opinions, whether they are about Wal-Mart (something we've not even covered in that class) or her uncle's pet rock from the 1970s.

-Monday Night Football on ESPN. With my wife as the color announcer, I think we could announce a better game. The entire team misses some very obvious analysis. Despite his voice, Kornheiser made some good points in the first few games---then dropped off the planet with the last two games. I might watch the Broncos MNF game on mute this week.

-Finding a restaurant in New York. There's too many, and then there's not enough at the same time. Too many places to choose from, but not enough good, cheap, comfortable places. I miss Pita Jungle and Oregano's.

-Mets fans.

-Yankees fans. But not as much as Mets fans. I guess this is what a 10-year playoff drought does.