Angry Consumer

XXXX X. XXth Place
XXXXXXX, XXXX XXXXX

January 4, 2006

Chris Gilbert
2230 West 39th Street, 13th Floor
New York, New York 10018

Dear Mr. Gilbert:

While in Chicago in September, I purchased a pair of Paper Denim & Cloth Marlowe jeans from Barneys New York in Lincoln Park. As an owner of a number of pairs of premium denim jeans, I was attracted to the fit and the wash of the jeans, and I needed a more formal pair of jeans to wear occasionally to the office and out to dinner or bars. I wear a number of pairs of my jeans more often than my Paper Denim & Cloth jeans; in fact, I have had two pairs of Diesel Kratts for more than seven years and own a pair of G-Star Raw jeans that fit me well and have also lasted for years.

However, after my initial enthusiasm about my Paper Denim & Cloth jeans wore off, I have been extremely disappointed with these jeans. After a month, my cuffs were nearly worn threadbare, as I have to trim off excess string on a near-constant basis. In addition, I need to be extremely careful with the button fly, as one of the rivets on the button is about to pull through the cloth. Last month, the lining in one of my front pockets tore through. However, the final straw came this evening as I sat down for dinner—hardly an athletic or inappropriate activity for denim—tearing the fabric across my right knee, less than four months after I purchased these jeans.

I have also purchased two pairs of Paper Denim & Cloth jeans for my wife. Actually, three pairs, as I had to exchange one pair within days after the top button pulled through the cloth. Ironically, the button on that pair also ripped through. My wife’s third pair has also ripped, across both knees and the back of one leg. Your company states, “quality and attention to detail are the two most important factors in the production of our jeans …” Additionally, as your company’s president and co-founder, you have referred to Paper Denim & Cloth jeans as not “just another pair of blue jeans” but an “investment.” Well, my “investment” lasted me four months, and I think I would have been better off with another pair of jeans.

If your goal was to make low quality, expensive jeans that have to be replaced every season, then congratulations, you succeeded. But you’ve lost my wife and me as customers—and your company’s reputation with a number of my friends (also conspicuous consumers) has been damaged as well. As your target consumers—mid-to-late 20’s with plenty of disposable income—our next purchase will be a pair of 575s, True Religions or Rock’n Republics—anything but Paper Paper & Paper.

Thanks for nothing,



The Funniest Man in the World