T-Minus Two Months

Just when I'm getting into this semester, I am faced with two interesting conundrums. First, I'm well into the tail-end of my MBA, with classes ending in under a month (looking forward to the Decision Models "final" at Town Tavern*.) And second, in what has become but will hopefully no longer be a spring ritual, it's time to start studying for the CFA!

Next year, I'm throwing the biggest Memorial Day Party since the Civil War. It will be epic. Consider yourself invited. But it's still this year, which means I've resigned to spend nearly all of spring--and by extension my last two months in New York--indoors learning about asset allocation, risk management, and performance measurement.



*Frequent readers (or just me) will recall that I hate the Town Tavern. My antipathy dates back to a particular afternoon two years ago when I tried to watch the Broncos on a lovely afternoon, only to have everything go wrong: the satellite was out for the first half, a large black box covered the screen for the second half (allowing me to see just the score and the players' ankles), and the bar ran out of all beer except Coors Light. The game went into overtime, and I, while drinking my horrible Coors Light out of a cheap plastic cup, failed to see the winning field goal.

Bringing Back Beats

The Clash's "Straight to Hell" came on my iPod yesterday. Great beat. I think M.I.A. likes it as well. "Paper Planes" has been one of my favorite songs so far this year.

Today's Mixtape

I checked out Ghostland Observatory on Friday night at Webster Hall. This was a great show, from the lasers down to the vampire-esque cape on the band's drummer/keyboardist/music maker. However, the frontman can sure rock the room, as was evident on the first song on this mix - "Midnight Voyage." It seemed like this guitar riff would keep going and going and going.

A Major Pet Peeve

Props: Ivan @ Ivan Krstic (and via Fred Wilson, indirectly).

Best Quote from my MBA Education

As my time in school winds down (and as I study for the last of my midterms), I am reminded by some of the funnier things professors say when they are trying to be serious. However, I doubt that many unintentionally funny quotes could top this gem from my Debt Instruments professor, who was explaining stripped Treasury securities and the market for these instruments:

There is money to be made in stripping.

Thanks professor. That's just what I came to school to learn. Maybe I can start paying down my loans!

Hello? Is there anybody in there? Just nod if you can hear me.

In the words of a friend (describing another friend), I'm now two-thirds less crazy.

But I'm at least twice as indignant, slightly funnier, and possibly less ironic. And I'm not at all opposed to starting sentences with a conjunction (though, unlike Vampire Weekend, I am in favor of an Oxford Comma).

More than that, I'm back after a short hiatus. I really didn't have anything better to do (hello Facebook Hold 'Em!): I have just been lazy. Ask Mrs. TFMITW--she'll vouch for that. Now, I need to figure out if any of my audience is there. This includes a random New Yorker who drinks sake at noon, a guy who has fallen asleep smelling his perfume-coated hand, one with a bun in the oven, and, um, I think that's it. Now, make like Jefe: "I'm still here, El Guapo!" Also, watch this video, too.

Mixtape 1: Bang Bang Bang

Non-Digital Blog (or, how I learned to stop typing and love the pen)

Despite the lack of posts here, I have actually been blogging lately--in a little moleskin notebook I keep in my bag. Yes, I've been putting the pen to paper, and if some of you aren't careful, you may actually receive a letter or card from me (actually, this is not very likely). I have also been arguing (read: "debating") about the internet with my wife. I'm starting to see the internet as a giant cesspool that is making my generation and those younger than me stupid (though I havent' read his book, I agree with some of this guy's points).

But since most of you will never see the inside of my little moleskin notebook (it's pure genius, and, frankly, I don't think most of you could handle it), I will be moving over some of my wittier observations. After all, I have the title of "Funniest Man in the World" to maintain (though Mr. Keen would contend that this is more "cult of the amateur").

Things I like this summer:

-Beaches
-Remembering the ferry schedule (or, alternately, forgetting the ferry schedule, calling a car service, waiting 3 hours for said car service, sitting in said car service's car for 2 hours, paying said car service $140, getting home from the beach at midnight)
-The song "Club Foot" by Kasabian
-All you can eat mussels, with a Stella on the side
-Dining outside. Just ignore the traffic, pollution and noise
-The fact that the 2007 MTV Movie Awards used "Club Foot" to open this year's show
-The fact that I used the same song to open my wife's Bash 8 fashion show two years ago
-Sarah Silverman's opening monologue at the MTV Movie Awards. Sarah, speaking about the recent panty-less outings of certain celebrities: "I see four of the most famous vaginas in Hollywood here tonight. Five, actually, I just saw Toby McGuire."

I didn't like the rest of the awards. Maybe it's because I'm old and I remember when MTV played videos, or at least original programming (what the hell is up with full-day marathons of "Australia's Next Top Model"?). Or maybe it's because the entire production felt like a three-hour commercial for "Transformers."

Things I found ironic in my life:

-Watching the movie "Airplane" on an airplane while flying from New York to San Diego.

Quotes I found funny:

-Tom Arnold, in the so-unbelievable-its-bad-its-good movie "True Lies," talking about his ex-wife: "I get home and the ice cube trays are gone from the freezer! What kind of a sick bitch takes the ice cube trays out of the freezer?"

Other miscellaneous thoughts:
-Do online mortgage advertisers not realize it is 2007? Why am I going to click on a dancing gnome to get a mortgage quote. Flashing "click now" in bright red and blue is helpful, too.
-I hate revolving doors, but I wonder: do revolving doors turn the opposite direction south of the equator?
-Street food is everywhere in Manhattan. I've become a regular at the fruit cart outside my building, but I think it is a little weird that he sells pineapples. Whole pineapples. What I am supposed to do, bring that up to my office, set it on my desk and pull out a machete?
-There is also tons of outdoor smoking here, since you can't smoke inside anywhere (which is awesome), so the image of a cigarette break is not unusual. What is unusual is the guy I saw taking a cigar break at lunch today.
-Does anyone besides me think the bow tie is making a comeback?
-And finally, yes, I do have plans this weekend. You know -- the typical New York night: going to a restaurant where it took me five months to get a reservation, and then going out to a small bar with no address where you actually have to call a phone number to get on the list and get the address, then pass through two security doors to get in. You know, just a normal night.

Historically speaking . . .

Lately (well, since the CFA exam a few weeks ago), I have been watching a number of period movies (Marie Antoinette), History Channel documentaries (La Cosa Nostra, WWII, and a really cool special called "From the Bible to the Battlefield" that tracked the war tactics of the Israelites), and HBO specials and shows (Rome, etc). Though I know that not everything I've seen is historically accurate, I have observed two common themes running through the course of human history.

First, it is amazing to think about how much of the course of human history has been decided under the influence of alcohol (or even other drugs). In Marie Antoinette, the king drinks wine at breakfast before negotiating treaties. Soldiers, and likely generals, sometimes enter battle under the influence. And I'm sure old Winston Churchill knocked back some cocktails with FDR and Stalin at the Yalta conference. Even in business, a bottle of scotch is frequently present, aiding negotiations and strategy. Alcohol has been ritualized in human society, whether through casual means or acts like communion. Would modern society be different, or would we be different, if these issues were decided with clear conscience and sobriety?

Additionally, I have been struck by the commonality of the human spirit. At the end of the day, regardless of wealth, social status, race or era, we enjoy human company -- the communal act of eating. Look at dances and dinners throughout history: the same themes are present. To compare two movies, the social activities in City of God (about life in a poor Brazilian ghetto) and Marie Antoinette (about the height of society at Versailles) are not much different, controlling for the amount of money involved. People enjoy the same gossip and get the same thrill from a glance by an unknown stranger across the room. The social interaction of eating, whether among the Ottoman soldiers that invented the shish kebob, or among French nobility, or even among the Soprano family while dining at Arte Buco's restaurant, fuels the human spirit as it has throughout history.

What I'm watching now

Besides the NBA playoffs, this month has held a dearth of interesting sporting events for me (as I'm not a baseball fan). Notwithstanding my casual viewing of last Saturday and Sunday's NFL draft, what I'm watching right now might be one of the least sporting sporting events I have ever watched.

On ESPN2, I am watching the live draw for Kentucky Derby post positions. Conventional wisdom says to pick slots 8, 9, and 10 (the first picks in eight of the last nine years), though no Derby winner has come from those spots in those years. Storm in May threw everyone off by picking the fourth slot with the first pick.