Things to do in Los Angeles when You're Dead

This weekend, I played tourist in my new home town of Los Angeles. Some things were fun; others were not so fun. Before I get to the good stuff, I present this list of things to do in Los Angeles when you are dead (or, don't bother wasting your time on this crap while you are still breathing):

1. "You're Going to Hollywood": Old glamour and American Idol aside, Hollywood (specifically, Hollywood Boulevard) is a cesspool of fanny packs, jean shorts and bad hair cuts. Yes, Mann's Chinese Theater is cool (Frank Sinatra had small feet, while Dean Martin's footprints were larger than expected), but the sightings were mostly a big waste of time. I was especially disappointed in the "celebrity" and "superhero" impersonators: it looked like these costumes had been dug out of a trash bin behind a failed children's pizza establishment. Here is a list of the celebrities we saw impersonated: Lucille Ball, Spiderman (at least two), Batman (at least three), the Joker (Heath Ledger's version, although he was posing with a grey Batman, so it was clearly a much earlier batman; I'm not sure about the continuity here), some naked dude with cobras (not an impersonator but the only impressive thing I saw), Barney (the kid's character, but his suit was so faded it was almost brown), the Tin Man, Darth Vader, Yoda (note: if you are 5'6", you are about three feet too tall to impersonate Yoda, and some stripper that was probably supposed to be Marilyn Monroe. (Non sequitur: I think "glamor" should be spelled "glamour," especially when referring to old glamour.)
   
2. Um, I'm not sure. I actually enjoyed the rest of the weekend: getting lost in the Hollywood Hills, driving through Brentwood, buying and then using a pretty funny Star Map, visiting the Santa Monica Farmers Market, checking out a gallery opening in Silver Lake, and hanging out with my little sister.
   

On an unrelated note, go buy or download the new Girl Talk album. You will thank me.

Written while listening to: Sirius Left of Center, MGMT, Beck's "Soul of a Man"

Quote of the Day

There is nothing so disturbing to one's well-being and judgment as to see a friend get rich.

-Charles Kindleberger, in Manias, Panics and Crashes

Listening to: the sound of cars driving in the rain

Reading: Manias, Panics and Crashes and A Century of Debt Crises in Latin America (1820 - 1930)

Wednesday Randomness

Why do you need someone (or something) to guard the gates of hell? Who wants to break in?

Why are villains cat people? Dr. No, Dr. Evil, even Gargamel and Dr. Claw from Inspector Gadget. I'm sure one explanation is that the later villains are all based on Dr. No, but another, equally compelling argument is that cat people are inherently evil.

Last night, I had an anti-anxiety dream, which was nice because I have been overloaded on anxiety dreams lately, due to final projects, finals, graduation and the impending CFA exam. I had a nice, stress-free morning after my anti-anxiety dream, only to realize that my dream was wrong and my paper is still due next week. Shit. Why am I blogging then?

My wife wants to send me to Music Lovers Anonymous. I tried to convince her to go the the She & Him show last night, after I saw Tokyo Police Club on Monday and Tapes 'n Tapes on Friday. Plus we are seeing Kate Nash tomorrow night. I was thinking about the shows I have been to in the last year (very heavily concentrated in this spring and last spring. Here's my top 6:

1. Arcade Fire and the National at The United Palace (May 2007)
2. Paul Simon at BAM (April 2008)
3. Ghostland Observatory (March 2008)
4. LCD Soundsystem (September 2007; Arcade Fire also played but was nowhere as good as the United Palace Show)
5. Tokyo Police Club (April 2008)
6. The National (February 2008)

If you are dancing in a burlesque show in Brooklyn, do you tell your parents that you are dancing in a burlesque show in Brooklyn, or do you make something up?

Beer gardens = good. Construction = bad.

Has anyone else seen the Cadillac Escalade commercial where the guy says, "life is high school with money. What are the cool kids wearing, where are the cool kids living, what are the cool kids driving. It's all still going on. And if you were never really into all that, there's only one thing to do: graduate." Wait, what is the message of this commercial? That the Escalade isn't cool? Or that the cool kids now drive Escalades? Or that, for some reason, driving the Escalade makes you cool? I don't understand how this commercial is trying to increase the popularity of the Escalade, while at the same time bashing popular/cool/trendy items. Isn't the Escalade itself trendy?

Listening to: Cadillac commercials, Cold War Kids "Quiet, Please!", The Cloud Room "Hey Now Now", Ween "Your Party", and Metric "Monster Hospital"

Going to: ace an accounting quiz in nine minutes.

The Sounds of Silence

Last night, after the Tapes 'n Tapes show at the Filmore, we walked through Union Square, stumbling upon one of the more interesting sights I have seen in New York: an iPod dance party. There were probably 40 people, each dancing to his or her own music in complete silence.






We walked on to find a real dance party happening a few feet away. Just some guys with a crappy boom box and a circle. These guys were pretty good; in fact, some of them rocked some serious ballet-type hip hop moves.

As for Tapes 'n Tapes, I left disappointed. It was the first show I've ever been to with no encore. The band left the stage, and the lights went on immediately. The lead singer mentioned that he was a little under the weather, so maybe that's the reason. I really liked the Filmore; it was a great place to see a show, and the drummer from the band was great.

Hoist up the John B Sail

For this Friday's music post, I'm trying out Muxtape. Previously I had been using Mixwit, which I like because you can embed your mixes in a number of places (like here and on Facebook). But Mixwit uses songs that are already online somewhere, so some of the stuff I listen to is either unavailable or the link is dead. Enter Muxtape: you can upload your own songs (yay!) but only in MP3 format (boo!). I have a bunch of AAC and MPEG files that were unusable. Plus, it's a pain to embed the list here, and from the looks of it, I can only have one Muxtape at a time.

Anyway, here is a link to my current Muxtape. It's working now, but eventually I should learn how to upload music directly to this site. Enjoy.

1. Okkervil River - John Allyn Smith Sails. I have probably listened to this song four or five times today. Nice incorporation of Sloop John B, as well.

2. The Rakes - Suspicious Eyes. Great beat. I like the contrast between the voices, as well. A very strong, "We Are Scientists"-esque guitar line.

3. Black Kids - I'm Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend How To Dance With You. I love the album name: "Wizard of Ahhhs." And I love this song; it sounds like it was recorded in a basement somewhere. Kate Nash does a good cover of it, too. Maybe she'll play it when I see her next month.

4. Metric - Rock Me Now. I always think the song says "Fuck Me Now" and I end up checking the song title.

5. Tapes 'n Tapes - Hang Them All. New Tapes 'n Tapes. I am seeing them next week. I'm still making my way through the new album, but this song stood out so far.

6. Coconut Records - Summer Day. I hate Jason Schwartzman. Really. First, he's in some of my favorite movies (Rushmore, I Heart Huckabees, The Darjeerling Limited). He also hangs out with a naked Natalie Portman in Hotel Chevalier. Then he's the drummer for Phantom Planet, which recorded that damn catchy theme song to "The O.C." And now he's fronting his own band, putting out solid albums, and singing with Kirsten Dunst. Damn him.

7. She & Him - I Thought I Saw Your Face Today. An actress who can sing. Brilliant! Lots of nice sleepy tunes here that make me want to linger in a field after a picnic and look at the clouds.

8. Liam Finn - Second Chance. His dad was in Crowded House. I never listened to them, but I like this song (and the album) a lot. "Remember me? Honestly, I don't"

9. Dawn Landes - Bodyguard. This song makes me want to say everything four times. Four times. Four times. Four times. This is a nice, effortless song.

The Beginning of the End of the Night

I was sitting at the Spotted Pig, in a highly coveted window stool, and enjoying my Old Speckled Hen when my wife called. It was nearly midnight and I was sure this was the "goodnight baby" call (one of us has to work in the morning). Instead, she asked me where the LABA party was, and if she could bring anyone with her. Five minutes (and about 20 text messages for directions) later, I was in a cab on the way to LABA to meet my wife.

To say LABA was a shit show would be an understatement. For some reason, the whistles and silly string always come out, along with everyone's party spirit. At one point, I traded my newly-acquired sombrero for a huge black wig and walked around slapping people on the back when they didn't recognize me. The night ended at 3 a.m., or about three hours later than I planned.

The day began, however, with beautiful weather and the decision to skip my 3 p.m. class to enjoy an outdoor beer or two with a buddy. Afternoon beers rolled into a sunset rooftop party (complete with grill, keg, and beer pong. If you've never picked up ping pong ball from a very dirty roof, threw it into a beer, and drank said beer, I encourage you to try it.). The party was a pre-game for LABA--the Latin American Business Association's biannual blow out--but I decided to leave the masses behind and head to a Gnarls Barkley show at the Highline Ballroom.

A very intimate space, the Highline seemed way too small for a duo/band of Gnarls' status, but I guess that's the point. The show was half CD release party and half tune-up for a future tour. The band was good, and Cee-Lo made love to the microphone, but something sounded a little off. I was surprised that the band didn't own the room more, like I had seen Ghostland Observatory do a few weeks ago at Webster Hall. Still, the always-changing Cee-Lo and Danger Mouse did not disappoint visually, coming out in matching white dinner jackets and frilly tuxedo shirts. Cee-Lo also rocked an impressive pompadour wig (think 1950's hipster) that eventually made him look a bit like Aretha Franklin during the song "Run," which they played second or third in the set. The rest of the band rocked blue tuxes (think Austin Powers) and ably backed up the headliners, though one guitarist seemed to think he was in My Chemical Romance instead of Gnarls Barkley. The hits came--Gone Daddy Gone, Crazy, Go-Go Gadget Gospel--but some of the newer, slower songs were the highlights of the show. I particularly liked "Blind Mary" and "Who's Gonna Save My Soul." I need to give the new album a few more spins, but so far I'm a fan. Definitely darker and a little slower, The Odd Couple shows a nice progression from Gnarls Barkley, but it is definitely a little light on the xylophone (though there is still some glockenspiel for you obscure percussion instrument fans).


Currently listening to: Selected Gnarls Barkley and Okkervil River's "John Allyn Smith Sails," continuously.

T-Minus Two Months

Just when I'm getting into this semester, I am faced with two interesting conundrums. First, I'm well into the tail-end of my MBA, with classes ending in under a month (looking forward to the Decision Models "final" at Town Tavern*.) And second, in what has become but will hopefully no longer be a spring ritual, it's time to start studying for the CFA!

Next year, I'm throwing the biggest Memorial Day Party since the Civil War. It will be epic. Consider yourself invited. But it's still this year, which means I've resigned to spend nearly all of spring--and by extension my last two months in New York--indoors learning about asset allocation, risk management, and performance measurement.



*Frequent readers (or just me) will recall that I hate the Town Tavern. My antipathy dates back to a particular afternoon two years ago when I tried to watch the Broncos on a lovely afternoon, only to have everything go wrong: the satellite was out for the first half, a large black box covered the screen for the second half (allowing me to see just the score and the players' ankles), and the bar ran out of all beer except Coors Light. The game went into overtime, and I, while drinking my horrible Coors Light out of a cheap plastic cup, failed to see the winning field goal.

Bringing Back Beats

The Clash's "Straight to Hell" came on my iPod yesterday. Great beat. I think M.I.A. likes it as well. "Paper Planes" has been one of my favorite songs so far this year.

Today's Mixtape

I checked out Ghostland Observatory on Friday night at Webster Hall. This was a great show, from the lasers down to the vampire-esque cape on the band's drummer/keyboardist/music maker. However, the frontman can sure rock the room, as was evident on the first song on this mix - "Midnight Voyage." It seemed like this guitar riff would keep going and going and going.

A Major Pet Peeve

Props: Ivan @ Ivan Krstic (and via Fred Wilson, indirectly).

Best Quote from my MBA Education

As my time in school winds down (and as I study for the last of my midterms), I am reminded by some of the funnier things professors say when they are trying to be serious. However, I doubt that many unintentionally funny quotes could top this gem from my Debt Instruments professor, who was explaining stripped Treasury securities and the market for these instruments:

There is money to be made in stripping.

Thanks professor. That's just what I came to school to learn. Maybe I can start paying down my loans!

Hello? Is there anybody in there? Just nod if you can hear me.

In the words of a friend (describing another friend), I'm now two-thirds less crazy.

But I'm at least twice as indignant, slightly funnier, and possibly less ironic. And I'm not at all opposed to starting sentences with a conjunction (though, unlike Vampire Weekend, I am in favor of an Oxford Comma).

More than that, I'm back after a short hiatus. I really didn't have anything better to do (hello Facebook Hold 'Em!): I have just been lazy. Ask Mrs. TFMITW--she'll vouch for that. Now, I need to figure out if any of my audience is there. This includes a random New Yorker who drinks sake at noon, a guy who has fallen asleep smelling his perfume-coated hand, one with a bun in the oven, and, um, I think that's it. Now, make like Jefe: "I'm still here, El Guapo!" Also, watch this video, too.

Mixtape 1: Bang Bang Bang