Non-Digital Blog (or, how I learned to stop typing and love the pen)

Despite the lack of posts here, I have actually been blogging lately--in a little moleskin notebook I keep in my bag. Yes, I've been putting the pen to paper, and if some of you aren't careful, you may actually receive a letter or card from me (actually, this is not very likely). I have also been arguing (read: "debating") about the internet with my wife. I'm starting to see the internet as a giant cesspool that is making my generation and those younger than me stupid (though I havent' read his book, I agree with some of this guy's points).

But since most of you will never see the inside of my little moleskin notebook (it's pure genius, and, frankly, I don't think most of you could handle it), I will be moving over some of my wittier observations. After all, I have the title of "Funniest Man in the World" to maintain (though Mr. Keen would contend that this is more "cult of the amateur").

Things I like this summer:

-Beaches
-Remembering the ferry schedule (or, alternately, forgetting the ferry schedule, calling a car service, waiting 3 hours for said car service, sitting in said car service's car for 2 hours, paying said car service $140, getting home from the beach at midnight)
-The song "Club Foot" by Kasabian
-All you can eat mussels, with a Stella on the side
-Dining outside. Just ignore the traffic, pollution and noise
-The fact that the 2007 MTV Movie Awards used "Club Foot" to open this year's show
-The fact that I used the same song to open my wife's Bash 8 fashion show two years ago
-Sarah Silverman's opening monologue at the MTV Movie Awards. Sarah, speaking about the recent panty-less outings of certain celebrities: "I see four of the most famous vaginas in Hollywood here tonight. Five, actually, I just saw Toby McGuire."

I didn't like the rest of the awards. Maybe it's because I'm old and I remember when MTV played videos, or at least original programming (what the hell is up with full-day marathons of "Australia's Next Top Model"?). Or maybe it's because the entire production felt like a three-hour commercial for "Transformers."

Things I found ironic in my life:

-Watching the movie "Airplane" on an airplane while flying from New York to San Diego.

Quotes I found funny:

-Tom Arnold, in the so-unbelievable-its-bad-its-good movie "True Lies," talking about his ex-wife: "I get home and the ice cube trays are gone from the freezer! What kind of a sick bitch takes the ice cube trays out of the freezer?"

Other miscellaneous thoughts:
-Do online mortgage advertisers not realize it is 2007? Why am I going to click on a dancing gnome to get a mortgage quote. Flashing "click now" in bright red and blue is helpful, too.
-I hate revolving doors, but I wonder: do revolving doors turn the opposite direction south of the equator?
-Street food is everywhere in Manhattan. I've become a regular at the fruit cart outside my building, but I think it is a little weird that he sells pineapples. Whole pineapples. What I am supposed to do, bring that up to my office, set it on my desk and pull out a machete?
-There is also tons of outdoor smoking here, since you can't smoke inside anywhere (which is awesome), so the image of a cigarette break is not unusual. What is unusual is the guy I saw taking a cigar break at lunch today.
-Does anyone besides me think the bow tie is making a comeback?
-And finally, yes, I do have plans this weekend. You know -- the typical New York night: going to a restaurant where it took me five months to get a reservation, and then going out to a small bar with no address where you actually have to call a phone number to get on the list and get the address, then pass through two security doors to get in. You know, just a normal night.