I feel like crap today. I can't tell if I'm getting sick or if I've been pushing myself too hard. I'll take it easy for a few days and hopefully it works itself out. After all, Friday's a big day: I celebrate another year on this earth, as well as my passage into the "late 20s" era, with the big two-six.

I'm going with an anti-Snottsdale theme this year, heading up to the Junkyard. I'm so tired of the scene here, because it is the same facade everywhere I go. Admittedly, I am choosing to go to these places, but I never feel satisfied at the end of the night. The new trend in town appears to be hanging out at the bar of whatever boutique hotel just opened: The James, The Valley Ho, Calleo. At least I can scratch Calleo, as it is turning into a gay-friendly destination hotel (Ryan, let me know which weekend you are coming). I can't think of a single bar that has opened in the last six months that I was truly excited about.

New restaurants, on the other hand, have had me pretty excited. Of course, half of the places scheduled to open will likely be pushed back months, which means I will have moved by the time they arrive. This is my favorite time of year in Arizona, though I miss winter and snow (and even just weather), but there will be a lot of "lasts" in the next few months. I already missed my last Barrett Jackson car show here, and next week will probably be my last Phoenix Open for a while, although I might come out for JB's annual open debauchery fest. Spring Training is coming up to, and I already have my tickets for Cubs v. Giants (on the lawn, naturally).

I think I'm going to try to check out in an hour or so and go home and crash.


This post written while listening to Yankee Hotel Foxtrot (Wilco) and Get Behind Me Satan (The White Stripes). By the way, that Imogen Heap CD I was talking about is definitely worth picking up if you are into Frou Frou, Portishead, Zero 7 or anything like that.

Catching up. I'm not sure how frequently I will update, but here's what's going on.

Grad school applications have been sent out. Chicago has mandatory interviews. Columbia and NYU interview on an invitation-only basis. If I'm invited to interview at any school, I should know by February. I should know if I'm accepted during March (as late as 3/23 for Chicago). I decided to make a CD for my final NYU essay. The question instructs me to introduce myself to my Stern classmates, so I put together the soundtrack of my life, complete with CD liner notes. The cover is pretty funny; it looks straight out of the 70s.



I went with "I'm not like everybody else," which is a song by the Kinks. I also threw on some Blackalicious ("Don't let money change you"), Talking Heads ("Once in a Lifetime") and DJ Shadow. Speaking of music, I picked up some new CDs that I am pretty impressed with. I know it's all subjective, but I have been listening to the new albums by Wolf Parade, Arcade Fire and Deerhoof on a near-daily basis. I'm also trying to track down the new Sia album, as well as the Imogen Heap album that was released in November. Sia is the singer for Zero 7, and apparently this album has been out in the U.K. for nearly two years. I don't know much about Imogen Heap.



The Broncos made it to the AFC title game with a solid victory over the Patriots. Yes, the Broncos were on the positive end of some horrible officiating calls, but the referees sucked all weekend. Plus, no team should win if the other team's kicker forces a fumble on the kickoff (as the Broncos' Sauerbaum did on Saturday). As for me, I'm in favor of Plummer's beard--it is certainly better than the neck fur sported by Kyle Orton or Ben Rothlisberger. As my wife said, Plummer's facial hair has grown beyond the molester stage. I've decide to grow a playoff beard in honor of the Broncos (at least for the next two weeks).

Angry Consumer

XXXX X. XXth Place
XXXXXXX, XXXX XXXXX

January 4, 2006

Chris Gilbert
2230 West 39th Street, 13th Floor
New York, New York 10018

Dear Mr. Gilbert:

While in Chicago in September, I purchased a pair of Paper Denim & Cloth Marlowe jeans from Barneys New York in Lincoln Park. As an owner of a number of pairs of premium denim jeans, I was attracted to the fit and the wash of the jeans, and I needed a more formal pair of jeans to wear occasionally to the office and out to dinner or bars. I wear a number of pairs of my jeans more often than my Paper Denim & Cloth jeans; in fact, I have had two pairs of Diesel Kratts for more than seven years and own a pair of G-Star Raw jeans that fit me well and have also lasted for years.

However, after my initial enthusiasm about my Paper Denim & Cloth jeans wore off, I have been extremely disappointed with these jeans. After a month, my cuffs were nearly worn threadbare, as I have to trim off excess string on a near-constant basis. In addition, I need to be extremely careful with the button fly, as one of the rivets on the button is about to pull through the cloth. Last month, the lining in one of my front pockets tore through. However, the final straw came this evening as I sat down for dinner—hardly an athletic or inappropriate activity for denim—tearing the fabric across my right knee, less than four months after I purchased these jeans.

I have also purchased two pairs of Paper Denim & Cloth jeans for my wife. Actually, three pairs, as I had to exchange one pair within days after the top button pulled through the cloth. Ironically, the button on that pair also ripped through. My wife’s third pair has also ripped, across both knees and the back of one leg. Your company states, “quality and attention to detail are the two most important factors in the production of our jeans …” Additionally, as your company’s president and co-founder, you have referred to Paper Denim & Cloth jeans as not “just another pair of blue jeans” but an “investment.” Well, my “investment” lasted me four months, and I think I would have been better off with another pair of jeans.

If your goal was to make low quality, expensive jeans that have to be replaced every season, then congratulations, you succeeded. But you’ve lost my wife and me as customers—and your company’s reputation with a number of my friends (also conspicuous consumers) has been damaged as well. As your target consumers—mid-to-late 20’s with plenty of disposable income—our next purchase will be a pair of 575s, True Religions or Rock’n Republics—anything but Paper Paper & Paper.

Thanks for nothing,



The Funniest Man in the World